I am a year-old man living in Maryland. I grew up with no real father support, so I knew nothing about what was happening to me. It all began in the summer after 5th grade, when I began experiencing erections. I didn't know why I was getting them or what they were for, but I tried my best to ignore them. One day in school a group of guys were talking about having "wet dreams.
The event is organized by New York Jacks, a group that hosts regular meetings for men to gather in relative public to do something nearly every man does in relative private. They take over Paddles on Tuesdays, and on Sundays host a meeting on the third floor of a building on West 38th Street. I first attended a New York Jacks meeting with a friend on a Tuesday a few weeks ago. What if we see someone we know? As in every fetish community, the fear of being outed as a participant in something deemed weird or pervy keeps many people, including bators, in the closet about their interests. All things considered, mutual masturbation is pretty tame — masturbation is something most people already do, albeit alone — but the popular notion of masturbation as somehow being failed sex, the purview of lonely internet trolls, leads many would-be avid mutual masturbators to keep their sexual cards close to their chests. Among men who have sex with men, mutual masturbation is often seen as sex-adjacent, rather than a sex act in its own right. Now we get together every few months — less regularly than a book club but more often than you see your best friend from college who lives in Washington Heights — hang out, and masturbate. Sometimes we get a little stoned, sometimes we watch porn; afterward we usually catch up about friends or jobs or other plans.
How do I, um, bring this up?
May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself , a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure. Although he isn't romantically or sexually attracted to cis men, B says his fascination to "strictly penises" began when he started watching porn in high school. To maintain anonymity, he asked to only be referred to as one of his initials. After messaging each other for about a week, they met up at the other man's empty apartment. B was so nervous, it took him "a little while" to be comfortable enough to even get an erection. While they settled down on the other man's couch after a few drinks, B grappled with his own sexuality, wondering if he was gay despite his relationships with women. The two eventually slid off their pants and began masturbating side-by-side.
Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. Masturbation is frequent in both sexes and at any age. Various medical and psychological benefits have been attributed to a healthy attitude toward sexual activity in general and to masturbation in particular. No causal relationship is known between masturbation and any form of mental or physical disorder. Masturbation has been depicted in art since prehistoric times, and is both mentioned and discussed in very early writings. In the 18th and 19th centuries, some European theologians and physicians described it as "heinous", "deplorable", and "hideous", but during the 20th century these taboos generally declined. There has been an increase in discussion and portrayal of masturbation in art, popular music, television, films, and literature. Today, religions vary in their views of masturbation; some view it as a spiritually detrimental practice, some see it as not spiritually detrimental, and others take a situational view.